Halong, Hanoi and Uncle Ho

A perceptive friend who's travelled extensively in Vietnam observed; "the whole country reminds me of one giant ant hill." That's a pretty apt description of many things in this country, the traffic in particular.

I arrived in Hanoi after a one night layover in Bangkok. I was much more prepared for Bangkok this time and really enjoyed it. Upon arrival at the Hanoi airport, I headed outside to hop in a cab. Immediately, things were different. A line of cab drivers greeted me with shouts of "Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson!" I quizzed the drivers to see who could name the most #1 hits from "Thriller" and the winner and I were off (he got 1, "Billie Jean.")

The Vietnamese have a different way of expressing themselves on the road. There are more than 7 motor bikes for every car in this country. In Hanoi, there are 200,000 cars and 1.5 million motorbikes. It also should be noted that the motor bike riders follow (and I can't stress this enough,) NO ROAD RULES AT ALL. The only means of communication between riders, drivers and pedestrians is incessant horn honking.

Honking a car horn here does not mean "get out of my way" or "I hate you" like it does in the U.S., it just means "here I am." Without it, (the logic must go) people would crash into each other constantly. As I was about to ask my driver why he was honking so much, he turned completely around (we were moving at about 40 mph on something that resembled an expressway) and told me he needed to make a phone call. "OK..." I said as he came to a dead stop and turned off the engine, without pulling out of the lane! There was no shoulder to the road and traffic zipped around us as though this was a perfectly normal occurence. I felt somewhat unsafe, but compared with what was to come, this was nothing.

As we reached Central Hanoi, the driver again turned completely around while we were moving. This time he was checking my reaction. This guy must be used to driving Westerners, because he got a good laugh at my open mouth gape. The streets were completely jam packed with 125 cc motorbikes. Visualize, if you will, the worst urban traffic jam you've ever seen. Now, take 95% of the cars and replace each one with 10 motor bikes. Now imagine the riders (usually 2 per bike, sometimes as many as 4) following no rules at all. No helmets, no street lights or stop signs anywhere, and many of the riders talking on their cell phones!

Your next question must be; "How would one cross such a street?" Well, you just go for it. One of the nice things about the motorbikes is that they are very maneuverable. Another is that the bikes are so small that the rider has great impetus to avoid hitting you. So you stand on a street corner, and in spite of better instinct, you just walk directly into the on-coming traffic. Incredibly, I've not yet seen anyone come close to getting hit.

In spite of the chaos in the streets (which you sort of get used to,) Hanoi is a lovely city. There are big lakes everywhere. The architecture is a nice mix of functional 3rd World dwellings and striking French Colonial strucutures. In fact, the French influence extends beyond the architecture into food (I wasn't expecting great quiche in Hanoi,) language (everything is written in French here) and of course, the war monuments.

The Old Quarter of Hanoi shows the juxtoposition of the French and Vietnamese cultures. The areas around the Cathedral and Opera House (both pictured) feel very European. Posh cafes and high fashion shops clash with the aggressive motorbike drivers and hole in the wall, locals-only restaurants.

After 2 days of wandering, I took a 3 day excursion out to Halong Bay. According to the Western news I'd seen, this whole area was shut down to tourists. Well, apparently no one told the people here about the terrifying "Bird Flu" pandemic. In fact, the whole thing is hardly in the papers at all. A few restaurants don't serve chicken to tourists, but that's about it.

Like Luang Prabang, Halong Bay is a UN "World Heritage Site." The skies were overcast the entire time I was there, but the scenery was still fantastic. There are over 2,000 rock formations and islands jutting out of the Gulf of Tonkin. Like my trekking tour in Chiang Mai, I was fortunate to be surrounded by a group of really great people on this tour. This group was made up of 6 Aussies, a New Zealander, a Frenchman, a hippie from Northern California and me.

We took meandering cruises through the bay, toured caves (one was beautiful and unadulterated, the other might as well have had escalators going through it.) and trekked in the hills. 3 days, including most meals, all accomodations (we stayed on the boat one night and the rooms were amazing,) a fantastic tour guide and transport to and from Hanoi cost a whopping $70.


When I returned to Hanoi, I set off to see the landmarks and museums. My first stop was Hoa Lo prison. This place is famous among Vietnamese as the prison used by the French to torture "Vietnamese Patriots." It's famous among Americans as the "Hanoi Hilton" that housed John McCain as well as other POWs.

The exhibits focus on their anger toward the French while extolling the virtues of the way the American POWs were treated while in the Vietnamese prison. The torture rooms and solitary confinement chambers used by the French are still intact. They even have two guillotines on display. On the other hand, American POWs are shown playing basketball, "receiving gifts" from their captors and eating feasts. There is even one caption that implies that the soldiers are so happy, they don't want to leave when the war is over.

In Hanoi, there is a massive complex devoted to Ho Chi Minh (his mausoleum is pictured.) Unfortunately, I missed seeing his body, which is available for public viewing. They send "Uncle Ho" to Moscow once a year for maintanence, so hopefully he'll still be in good shape if I ever come back.

On the other hand, nothing is embalmed in his museum, which is a good thing. The Ho Chi Minh museum is one of the most impressive tributes to any subject, that I've ever seen. Every display is a work of art. The theme is to show not only the resilience of the Vietnamese (who've fought the French, Americans, Chinese and Cambodians on their own soil since 1955) but the horrors of war.

My favorite display was one where they took anti-war art from Spain and made a sort of collage. They used many images from Picasso's "Guernica." It, like most of the museum, was very effective and really avoided a lot of the heavy handed propaganda you find in other exhibits here.

There are many, many images of "Uncle Ho" in Vietnam. Oddly, when set against a red backdrop, he looks just like Colonel Sanders. In fact there is a famous quote of an American pointing this out to a Vietnamese officer. The officer replied "No they are not alike. Uncle Ho was a General."

After a couple days of this, I decided to head south to see more of the war history. Hue, in Central Vietnam, was my first stop. More on that later.

In a Tranquil Place

Computers in Vietnam are a little rough, so sorry for the delay in my postings. It's been nice to hear from everyone and I'm glad people are actually reading this. I left off on my way out of Chiang Mai, Thailand, rested and acclimated.

Luang Prabang, Laos was the next destination, so I eagerly headed off to one of SE Asia's most beautiful cities. The stunning nature of the scenery hits you before you land. In fact, the descent into Luang Prabang's airport had me glued to the window of the tiny prop plane that took us on the two hour flight.

The Mekong and Khan Rivers shape LP into a narrow peninsula. I'd imagine the mosquitos can get pretty intense there, but I was visiting at the right time of year. I have no idea how to convert Celsius to Farenheit, but the day times were pleasantly warm (probably 75-80 degrees) and the evenings seemed to dip into the low 60s, with no wind chill at all. This is my idea of perfect weather. On the other hand, the locals were so stunned by the cool evenings that you could find groups of them huddled in the markets, shivering inspite of their layers of thick winter clothes.

On my arrival, I was in the midst of doing some reading on the history of Laos, but hadn't gotten to the part where they explain that the current government is communist. Well, that didn't take long to figure out because the flag of the Soviet hammer and sicle flies up and down all of the major streets, as commonly seen as the Lao national flag.

You also realize you are in a communist country when you go to a newsstand. The media is tightly controlled and there was no presence of the Western press anywhere. Bookstores had a range of used Western books, but that was it. The Lao paper is printed in English and is quite amusing. As an American I'm used to government criticism that borders on slander, but the Lao paper's purpose is cheerleading.

Story after story recounts "the great progress" and "revolutionary vision" of the current government. The improvement of roads, building of schools and medical facilities and patriotic displays of the people are the only topics covered. There is an area near Vientienne (the capitol) that is held by the rebels and too dangerous to travel. In many ways, the country is still recovering from 10 years of US bombings and insurgent support in the 1970's.

Stability is on the horizon, but Laos is still one of the ten poorest countries in the world. The average person gets by (if you can call it that) on less than $1 per day. Maybe they need to pick up their paper and feel good about something, but the media control is not total. The internet is available everywhere and the TV in the room in my guesthouse had CNN, ESPN Asia and HBO, all in English.

Laos made for a fascinating contrast to Thailand and later, to Vietnam. While Thailand and Vietnam feel as though they are struggling to emerge into the industrialized world, Laos doesn't exist on the same planet as the rest of us. There is no sense of urgency anywhere. Things don't run on time, food in a restaurant takes forever and before long, you notice you are walking a lot slower than usual.

One bar on the main strip in LP shows Western movies on a big screen TV. Another had a campfire every evening, marketed to Western backpackers. Day trips for kayaking, mountain biking and visiting waterfalls and hilltribe villages abound. Other than that, there is almost nothing to do, but when you're somewhere this beautiful, that's ok.

There is a night market that takes over several blocks on the main street. It goes on for 5-6 hours and was another great example of the different pace of life in Laos. While the markets in Thailand are brightly lit, with people shouting at you and shoving products in your face, the people in Laos sit on the ground in soft light. They nod appreciatively as you inspect their wares and wave good-bye as you move on.

At the night market, food is available everywhere. For 5,000 kip (50 cents) you can fill up your plate at one of the many buffets. You have to sort of forget the importance of refridgeration in food service and eat things that you don't recognize, but it's worth it.

I missed out on some of these activities as, well, without getting into details, an illness hit me. I know it wasn't the street food, since I hadn't had any since my arrival. Unfortunately I was bed ridden for 3 days. The great thing is that the budget accomodations across SE Asia are terrific.

Now, you can spend as much as you'd like on a room. There are plenty of plush resorts and boutique hotels charging $200+ per night. The great thing is that my budget of $10-$15 per night gets you a lot in return. All the rooms I've stayed in have been absolutely spotless. The walls may need a fresh coat of paint, the sheets and comforters are not exactly new, but the places are clean and safe. When you make the jump from the $5-$8 rooms into the $10-$15 range you typically get; your own bathroom with hot shower, a/c, a minibar (water, beer and soda,) and you have your choice of location.

As mentioned above, you also get satellite TV in these rooms. While the range of available programming varies, I had the good fortune of watching the Duke-IU basketball game live on one of the days I was sick. Even people on the other side of the planet love Hoosier Basketball.

Lazy Days

Since I've been in Asia, I've talked to a number of people about their travel plans. Regardless of age or income, it seems that people come here and take on a break-neck pace. People cover dozens of sites and locations in a minimal amount of time, sleep on the trains and go rush around somewhere else. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure when I return, people who've traveled this region will be shocked by all the major tourist attrctions I've missed. Oh well, maybe next time.

The benefit of my flight arrangements are that the dates are flexible without charge. When I got back to Chiang Mai on Friday night, I was scheduled to leave on Monday. That wasn't going to cut it. I extended 5 days and rescheduled my flight to Laos for the following Saturday. I spent the next week doing almost nothing.

Chiang Mai is the cooking class capital of the world. There are over 30 schools in a relatively small town. So, I took a class. We started at the market, gathered our ingredients and made authentic Thai food. It was great fun and the food turned out really well.

Kick boxing is popular here, so I went to a match. Actually, going to see kick boxing includes seeing ten matches, taking about 4 hours. Of course, the fighters are classified by weight. There were children as small as 80 pounds and adults as large as 200.

The fights we saw weren't particularly violent. The technique is really different than European/American boxing. The fighters throw punches, but mostly use their hands for positioning. In ten fights, I never saw one good punch land. Most of the kicking is aimed at the thighs and butt. We only saw three knockouts and no blood.

With the exception of these two orgainized activities, most of my time was spent hanging out in cafes, getting massages, going for long walks and then hanging out in cafes some more.

The hotel and guesthouse where I stayed are located near a strip of shops and cafes in the old city near Tha Pae gate. There are a good mix of locals and tourists as this area is loaded with cheap places to stay, but not near the heavily touristed night market. On this strip, a pleasant Dutch fellow owns a Pink Floyd themed cafe called "The Wall." Lots of Western music, travelers and great, cheap food.

The menus in the cafes are all very similar and so is the service. Every menu has at least 150 items on it. Everyone serves hamburgers and other sandwiches. (The best burger I had was at "Mike's." Not sure if you can see the slogan on the sign, but it reads "Converting Vegetarians Since 1979." I had to patronize that place.) There also is a lot of Italian food. I had Italian a few times and it was pretty good. Of course, most of the menu is made up of Thai food.

Table service is sort of amusing, I guess. Before your butt hits the seat, a server thrusts a menu at you. They then stand (uncomfortably close to the table) and stare until you order. Since the menus are all 10-15 pages long, figuring out what to order can take a minute. If you indicate that you need a little time to decide, the server takes one step back from the table and continues to stare. Once your order is delivered you never see a server again, until you flag someone down for the check. At this point they bring the check and stand at stare at you while you read it and organize your payment. Tipping is neither expected nor inspired. Feels kinda funny.

The night market is an interesting scene. It's like taking Macy's and putting everything in a movable, outdoor stand. You can buy anything you can imagine and the prices are dirt cheap. The market is open every night and the workers are there seven days a week. This was common as I spoke with quite a few Thais who never take a day off. None of these people have ever left Thailand or have any interest. The attitude of "anything I don't have, I don't need" speaks to the wide popularity of Buddhism in this country.

The long strip of bars and restaurants leading to the night market is full of "hostess bars." These are bars where your purchase of an overpriced drink is accompanied by the attention of a young Thai girl. As you walk by, what seems like a hundred girls shout at you and almost physically force you inside. I didn't go into any of these places, but they were all empty, with the exception of a few middle aged (and older) white men sitting with disinterested looking Thai girls.

In fact, Thailand is full of this scene. I can't give a full report on the sex trade here, but it is really unnerving to have a 12 year-old girl, chubby from baby fat, leering at you as she tries to hold your hand and lead you into a massage parlor. While there may be plenty of legitimate realtionships, the number of white men with Asian women out weigh the number of white women with Asian men by 1000 to 1. The age difference is also a constant factor. Granted, Asian women tend maintain a youthful look as they age, but the difference between white men and their companions appears to be 20-30 years.

The areas where prostitution is popular are well known. In Bangkok, the Patpong district is full of bars featuring sex shows. Potpong is not seedy though. Each of these "theaters" has a line of VERY BORED looking Thai women, hanging out, inviting you inside. There are lots of other bars and high end restraurants next door to these and the crowds going in and out are as full of Asian men as white ones.

According to some of the articles I've read, the sex trade is supported primarily by Asian men. You wouldn't know it with the backlash against white "sex-pats." There is a well-known hotel in Bangkok called "The Atlanta" (door pictured here.) It's a 50's style hotel with a very good coffee shop inside. The first two pages of the menu pronounce the philosophy of their establishment. "The Atlanta" doesn't care about profit or customer service mores, they simply will not allow any person they expect is patronizing the sex trade to also patronize their business. You see this attitude on a fairly regular basis travelling around Thailand.

On the more pleasant side of things, the massages here rock! There are parlors everywhere and a really good massage costs $3-$5 per hour. They specialize in Thai massage which is really quite painful. They find nots and pressure points you didn't know you had and work the crap out of them. I actually had to ask one woman to stop for a second as the pain was really intense. The feeling afterward was incredible.

After a week of observing this culture and reading up on my next destinations, I set off for Laos. More on that later.